Group 1
Sharing on question Five
I have had the opportunity to forgive people in my family who offended me. I was able to do so my sharing my feelings with them and they apologized.
I have had the opportunity to forgive a friend who did wrong to me. This friend came to my room during preparation for exams and took way all my note books while I was fast asleep. When I got to know that he took the books, I became very angry and told my parents about it. This crated a serious misunderstanding between the two families. Later the friend and parents came to apologize and I forgave him and the family returned back to normal peace.
I have had the opportunity to forgive someone. During my last years of Practical Training, a female youth in the Salesian environment made false allegations against me to tannish my character without my knowledge. This brought bad impression about me in the community. When I was about to go for theology, she came and apologize and asked to be forgiven. Only then I realized that she was behind my trouble instigated by a confrere to prevent me from going for theology. Although I felt very bad about her, I nevertheless forgive her sincerely including the confrere without asking further.
I had gone against public opinions. One of such is my refusal to accept the general opinion of my colleagues to assist an elder to work in the farm when I was in secondary school. By refusing to join them, they became indignant with me and none spoke to me throughout that day.
I have helped many people without expecting anything from them. In Azerbaijan for instance, I helped many Muslim children in free English lessons which was quite expensive to pay for. I did this not only because I wanted to help the poor ones, but also to show them the difference between Christians and Muslims. That is to let them see that Christian can also be good to Muslims without discrimination.
I have helped without expecting anything. I was ones touched by the misfortune of an orphan who was in dial need of help during my Practical Training. I was moved to help this poor girl in some way out of sympathy.
Comment from the Text
The act of forgiveness and assistance is not ordinary. Whether conscious or unconscious, we human beings are moved by an inner force of the spirit to do these things.
All human persons have a spiritual element that they share in common. It is this spirit that leads us to realize others as ourselves. This spirit crates in individuals the need to be forgiven, assisted and sympathetic. As such, we are also pushed to act to others in the similar way. Yet we are different and that is why we sometimes disagree with others in certain matters. Despite the agreement, we can still come to mutual understanding, because we are moved by the same spirit.
It is because of the spirit in us that leads us to give ourselves to the other. We all desire to be forgiven and to be assisted, that is why we share with others our spirit of generosity
Group 2
Basing ourselves on personal experiences, we reflected upon the following questions
today:
·
Is
unconditional forgiveness possible to finite man? Isn’t
the ability to ‘forgive and forget’ not proper to God alone?
·
Being communitarian creatures, whose existence
is essentially co-existence, can our
personal convictions ever drive us to go against public opinion without a
consequent guilt of ‘betrayal?’
·
Can one help someone in need
without expecting anything in return?
1. Forgiveness
As little children, each of us undergoes
experiences in which we are offended, disappointed or hurt. Often we cry,
complain or sulk, albeit for a very short time, after which we easily forget
and return to our usual playful and carefree mood. Forgiving and forgetting is
rather natural at that stage. However, as we grow up, forgiveness is easier
said than done. We keep grudges and every time we meet the ‘offender’, memories
and hurtful feelings are re-triggered within us.
It is however true that in imitation of our
Forgiving Master, we find ourselves in situations where we ‘go against the
grain’, (painful though it be) and forgive those who hurt us and our dear ones.
Admittedly, such a step involves a supernatural element – God’s grace at work.
The following are some real life experiences where group members took the bold
step and forgave those who had inflicted harm on them:
a) James (not his real name) grew
up in an environment where his family (particularly his father) and a wealthy uncle
were not in very good terms. Even though James frequented the relative’s home
which was nearby, and played together with the children there, he had always
known that the relations between the two families were not as healthy as they
ought. Though he sought to understand why from his parents, answers were not
forthcoming.
One day, while he was at home with his dad,
his aunt (the aforementioned uncle’s wife) visited, bringing with her some food
for James’ father. He ate the food, but barely 15 minutes later, he collapsed.
In a state of panic, James ran around for help. After some time he got some
people to help, and while his father was getting medical attention, samples of
the food that he had eaten were taken, and tests were conducted. To everyone’s
shock, the food had been poisoned. This further aggravated the relationship
between the two families, with James’ mother giving her children strict
instructions never to step in their uncle’s house again.
So many years have since passed, and James
undergone a gradual process of healing, which started from denial, then pain
which led to a lengthy period of reflection, resulting in a painful yet
conscious step of forgiveness. Realising the need to put the experience behind
his back and re-establish family ties, James (whose father is now late) has
been trying to communicate with the relatives concerned, but they are
reluctant. Perhaps due to guilt, they cut the phone every time he calls, and
are not willing to reciprocate his gesture of reconciliation. On his part
though, James has forgiven them wholeheartedly.
b) Another touching story of forgiveness involved Paul (not his real name) who learnt true
forgiveness from one of nature’s best teachers – his mother. The lesson came
his way through a painful experience in which his brother was singled out from
the company of his friends and killed as they were cycling to a beer hall.
Given the circumstances under which he died, foul play was highly suspected on
the part of his friends who were with him on the fateful night, but no one was
arrested. At the funeral, Paul’s uncle, a practicing traditional doctor, wanted
to conduct a ‘witchfinding’ ritual, which would bring misfortune to the killers
unless they confess the murder. The ritual though, depended on one condition –
the consent of Paul’s mother. Paul, despite having been a strong catholic, was
filled with such bitterness that he wished death upon the murderers, and
naturally expected his mother to give the ritual a green light. However, she
refused to let this happen, stating that only the Giver of life had power over
it. Inflicting harm upon the killers was not going to bring back her late son
and despite the great pain she felt at the death of her son, she had forgiven
those who killed him.
His mother’s inaction was difficult for Paul to swallow. He simply couldn’t
understand why his mother could forgive such people. Weeks and months passed
and the ‘why’ question kept ringing in his mind. Yet it was a bitter lesson for
him, the more vengeful thoughts came into his mind, the more he thought of his
mother and her forgiving attitude. With the passage of time, he eventually
forgave the killers, albeit after a slow and painful process. As a
trainee-minister, who hopes to dispense God’s forgiveness to others, Paul
always prays that God forgives him for being unforgiving, and that he may be
granted the grace to forgive those who offend him.
2. Going Against the Current
The group members also shared experiences
in which they went against public opinion. The Bottom line of the experiences
shared was that it always takes courage, determination, prudence and a great
deal of conviction to take such a bold step. Instead of flowing with the
current, the group attested to the fact that ‘the good’ is not always ‘the
popular.’ Thus, as followers of Christ (some of whose followers left him
because his teaching was ‘too hard to follow’) we are called to discern his
will even if such a step goes against a position/ line of thought held by the
majority.
a) One group member shared an experience in which he was assigned to
work in a youth centre where young people were ‘rewarded’ for every
contribution they made in the life of the centre. It had become a common
practice that for any service to be rendered (cleaning, participation in
activities, etc) members of the centre had to be ‘thanked’ financially. Seeking
a change of mentality among the youth, he tried to get them to work without
being paid. He also tried educating them on the necessity to work in
appreciation for the many (non-financial) benefits they get from the centre,
and on the value of work in general. He met a lot of opposition at first, and
felt a painful lack of support from his confreres who had contributed to the
status quo. Convinced he was doing the right thing, he had to take radical
steps such as giving out balls and games only
after work, and introduced spiritual formation programmes as an integral
part of the daily programme. This saw a decline in the number of young people
coming to the centre, but this did not discourage him. It took many months to
implement the change and many times he felt all alone in his quest. His
consistency later paid off as young people gradually started coming voluntarily
to clean the premises, forming prayer groups, among other things.
b) Tom, another group member faced a test of conviction when his
classmates at college staged a demonstration against one lecturer who was
deemed by some students to be too demanding. The influential members of the
class urged each member to speak against the lecturer in turns during their
meeting with the principal. Any student who would not speak would be declared a
traitor by the group. Tom however, did not hold anything against the lecturer,
and during the meeting, found himself with a choice; either to impress his
classmates by saying something he did not personally believe or to ‘betray’
them by keeping quiet. He chose the latter, which he believed was the right
thing to do. After the meeting, though his classmates grumbled, they did not
directly confront him. After an inquiry, it was later discovered that what
appeared as a class problem, was actually an issue of few students, who just
influenced the rest and hyped it to a class level. Looking back at the
experience, Tom feels that he passed the moral test of strength of character.
3. Help without reward
The group discussed the possibility of
helping without expecting anything in return. Both before and during the
sharing of personal experiences, there were heated debates as to whether such a
thing is possible at all. Some members felt that even though one may help
someone without expecting material reward, there is always a psychological
satisfaction that comes with offering a helping hand. Others felt that even
though this may be true, it is not always
the expectation of that satisfaction that drives someone to do good.
In the experiences shared, it was noted
that our lives as religious is essentially a service-oriented life and the
contributions we make, many times go unnoticed (for example during practical
training). One member even expressed that instead of being appreciated, he was
once told after a long, busy day, that he was not doing enough for the boys. He
was happy though, because he felt he had done what he could. Looking back at
the tangible things he had done, he realised that without being noticed, he had
helped some boys to quit smoking over a period of few months.
Many times in our lives we are motivated by
the prospects of handsome rewards to do good, to offer a helping hand, but God
who inspires and keeps calling us to do good, grants His grace gratuitously,
since nothing we can offer adds anything to his greatness. He transcends any
‘want’ or ‘need.’ It is in this light that by helping without expectations, we
are imitating or learning to be like him practically. That in itself is
transcendence.
Comments
Our God shares his life with us in the
simple experiences of our lives; some of the ways which he makes himself
manifest in us and through us are so subtle, but looked at more deeply, reflect
a transcendence beyond what would normally be regarded as natural. In those
experiences where we act other than we naturally/humanly would, in little
sacrifices, practices of virtue without expectations, forgiveness, in doing
something just for the love of God – the natural gives way to the supernatural
to manifest itself in man; our faith recognises the Holy spirit at work in us.
Group members: Muza Simbarashe; Ekugbah
Chikezie, Owuor Eric, Utazi Chiemeka, Mukuka Chilufya, Onwuzulu Ephraim
Group 3
1. Nuyen Manh hien ; 2. Debele LEGESSE Blcha; 3. Ombworo Nicodemus; 4. Hei Abeje zewde; 5. Nguyen Manh hein
what we were share is about forgiveness, according our group opinion forgiveness from experience shows human weakness and reconciliation among human being and also between human being and God. Forgiveness is not forgetting the things which happen on you. the process of forgiving is depending on your mind and situation .If you don't forgive him you will harm yourself but if you forgive him you will get peace and Joy in your heart.
Comment;
the spirit of God is with us if you believed or not; that is religious experience of others mean when someone sick and also when he get hope. so forgiveness is not to get benefit but it is natural or humanity.
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